Friday, May 15, 2009


I got a great idea....Let's dress up in 'retro du jour' and desperately try to find someone to sleep with.

You had a great time there last weekend. Maybe you should hang out there everynight for the rest of your life.

It's all fun and games til you take someone home and immediately wanna go to the doctors.

I don't understand why the bathroom line is so long... you can just snort coke off of the bar.

I don't have any real ambition, I guess i'll just take a nap in this armpit.

The smoking patio is just a figment of your imagination. The guy with the goatee shooshing you on the way in the bar is not.


I guess there's always been potential there. I mean, the sexiness of soul music is undeniable. I've only been to soul night twice; the first night I wore a homemade sign around that read "DO NOT HUMP" I had no idea the social consequences, i was just high on the pot and thought it was hilarious. Women were into it but everyboy that noticed what I was wearing HATED IT. one guy told my to go fuck myself.....I guess he thought since I wasn't going to fuck him i had to fuck SOMEBODY that evening. I did acquire the nickname "do not hump girl"... you can imagine how much I LOVE that.
I went again last night.... the crowd was mostly bridge and tunnel ala portland. I literally overheard some girl talking about the vintage dress she was wearing as if it were some insatiable costume, "I feel really overdressed you guys, i mean, i I saw a girl on hawthorne wearing something similar and I thought it looked hip."
The best part of the evening, however, is around twelve thirty you can watch what i like to call "the hole patrol". Thats the part of the evening where all the dudes in Rotture literally go from chic to chic trying to figure out where and with whom they will end up that evening. Now, I just wanna say that I'm NO prude, i like a sexy time as much as the next person but i can't get down with some dudes mission to get wet. If it happens, it happens. Desperation is not a turn on. Meanwhile that same guy is going to wake up in Beaverton tomorrow with the girl they he thought had a booth at House but actually has an old navy credit card. She's going to make a doctors appointment as soon as he leaves.